Achieving Excellence – Setting Resentment Free

Have you ever felt like you have given up your life because of all the drama and trauma someone else is putting on you? Resentment then lies like a snake in the grass waiting to strike.

I remember when my daughter Tammy’s addiction was at its worse feeling so resentful that my life was filled with stress and anxiety not of my own making. Was that belief really true? Was the stress not of my own making?

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility” I had to stop and take an accounting of how I was responsible in her situation, maybe you can identify with some of my beliefs and actions:

• I let stress rule my life instead of putting my health and welfare first.
• I spent most of my time trying to make her situation better, not mine.
• I had the arrogance to believe I could make someone’s choices for them.

If you see yourself in any of the statements above it is time to take a deep breath and focus your mind on the situation at hand and remind yourself you are responsible for how you feel. OUCH! Then ask yourself what positive action you going to take in respect to the issue. It may be that you do something designed to change the situation or perhaps you change the way you feel about it.

Another way to say all this is to make a very straightforward point. If you don’t take action to get what you want other people will take action to get what they want and frequently that does not have good results for you. You may need to:

• Learn new skills in order to take action
• Stop waiting for other people to solve your problems.
• Learn the basics of self help.

The ego wants to blame our life situation on someone else. It wants to be resentful. In all actuality we are all responsible for everything we do and experience. When we try to give someone responsibility we actually surrender control of our lives.